just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we're making bets on your personal life
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
