so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
