just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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