I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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