the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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