am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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