mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
