You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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