I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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