Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize