dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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