I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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