Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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