I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
