at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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