oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
