only if we run a train.
done.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
