My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We got so high we made milksteak
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
