ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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