i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
