Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
