I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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