I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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