She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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