The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
