I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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