I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My liver just had a heart attack.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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