38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
