Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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