We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
