I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
