Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
