Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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