Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
