It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
