Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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