True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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