When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
