i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
