at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize