How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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