My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
