I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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