Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
