you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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