All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm bleeding and have questions
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
