I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
