I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
