I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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