wat bout pragnant strippers??
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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