so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
