the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
