There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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