Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
