Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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