A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
