apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He did a backflip because drugs
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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