a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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