Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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