i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
did i walk over a car last night?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
