Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
